Back On Track

I did really well for a couple of weeks and I was feeling better.  Then I lost my job.  I know, that shouldn't matter, I should have persevered.  Well I didn't, boo hoo, whatever.  The important part is that I'm ready to get back on track.

The one thing that I didn't fall back on was coffee (mostly because I put the coffee pot away).  I have however been drinking soda like I was before which in turn made me crave all the shitty food I was eating before as well.  Psychological or not?  Probably not, but honestly it doesn't really matter.  The fact is that when I drink Diet Coke, which is horrible for me, I crave more foods that are horrible for me.  That's pretty much a no brainer, don't drink the fuckin' Diet Coke.  Done.  I haven't had any today and I'm perfectly content to stay that way.

Juicer!
I'm going to go buy a juicer today.  I'm watching Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead again as I type this just to gear me up a little.  This film is by far my favorite and the one that really made me want to change.  I'm not going to go all nuts and go on a juice fast or anything, but I am going to make myself juice every day and go back to eating good food.  Fuck the processed shit.  Once I started eating shit again, I started feeling like shit again.  I suppose you are what you eat, right?  Just like the Diet Coke, no brainer, right?

It drives me crazy and pisses me off.  I know full well that I should eat good food, stay away from processed shit.  I mean who doesn't?  Everybody knows that, but then we go through the drive thru.  For fuck's sake, why?!  I did it, all the damn time.  I know it makes me feel like shit, it doesn't even taste all that great.

I've got a busy day and won't be getting the juicer until this evening, so I'll probably do it the first time tomorrow morning.  I'll let you know how it goes.

Comfort Food

I was sick as hell yesterday.  It could have been anything really.  I think it was just a bug of some sort.  Whatever.  It sucked, I feel better now so who cares.

The thing is I went back and forth between wanting to eat junk and realizing I was being stupid.  I certainly had access to it.  I'm really the only one in the house that's doing this.  I've mentioned before that my wife is allergic to MSG so we don't usually have a ton of overly processed food anyway.  That doesn't mean that we don't have any.  She's still fully addicted to Diet Coke so there's plenty of that in the house, there's a pizza in the freezer for my daughter when she comes this week since she whines if we feed her nothing but good stuff, and there's still plenty of other random things from before I started that I could have eaten.  I was seriously contemplating making some Velveeta Shells and Cheese.  Don't worry, I resisted.  I will admit that it was more because I felt like complete shit and didn't have the energy to get up and make anything than it was sheer willpower.  In addition to the fact that I was a little worried that anything I ate would come right back out again.

Why is it that I want comfort food when I'm sick?  Why do I want to eat crap that I know isn't good for me because I think it will make me feel warm and fuzzy to eat it?  I suppose that's part of the weird addiction to food.  The emotional attachment I have to food.  Hell, as a society we're programmed to be emotionally attached to food.  Comfort food, it sounds so innocent.  Everyone has foods that they consider comfort foods.  Macaroni and cheese, meatloaf, mashed potatoes, chocolate, cheesecake.  Ok, I have to stop, my mouth is watering.  None of that shit is all that good for me.

You'll all be happy to know that I'm over it.  Back to my healthy life, feeling good by putting good things into my body.